Dear Tree,

It rained earlier and I could hear the sky crying. Depression is the deepest hole. I try so hard to enjoy what is given to me and appreciate what I have but it doesn’t help. I’m asked what makes me happy and I can think of nothing but you. You don’t know I am depressed. You don’t know how happy I am. You don’t know I was hospitalized. You don’t know much about me really, but you’re a huge part of me now. You paint my sky blue. I’m afraid I’m not good enough for you, beautiful boy. I’m afraid you are going to soon regret falling in love with me. I hope that day never comes but I hope for many things to not happen.

These white walls drain all my energy out from under me. I’m not sure why. I am so unstable sometimes all I can do is sit here staring out the window. I’m afraid I’ll do something stupid otherwise. I wish you were here to sit with me. I wish you were here to love me.

I can’t wait to see the highlights in your hair and the wrinkles when you smile. I will let your hands imprint every inch of my skin and I’ll never let you go. I want to hear you laugh deeply and see the sun pouring through your irises. I love you, beautiful boy.

Dear Tree,

I miss you. I want to love you like you should be loved, and I want to breathe in your scent until I’m intoxicated. I want to show you what love is, and I will never hurt you. I love you so deeply and every act I do for you will bloom with sincerity. I never want to loose you, beautiful boy.

I wish everyone treated me the way you treat me. I wish everyone talked to me the way you talk to me. It’s like you know that I don’t, and that makes us so compatible. I feel so loved because of you. I feel rejuvenated. I can’t wait for you to be in my arms this fall. We’ll fall asleep swooning in your voice. Your voice makes my bones melt.

Always,

A